Throughout her illness, Jerri Nielsen had to deal with not always knowing the answers to her questions, which was always something she struggled with immensly. There were times when she had no idea if her cancer was even cancer. Because she had barely any contact with the rest of the world, it was extremely hard for them to diagnose her illness exactly, or give her a probability of survival. She kept having to beg answers out of the physician she was in contact with, barely getting any answers. It was not her doctor's fault, she didn't know all the answers, but she also didn't want to tell Nielsen bad news. In one email she said, "I know you want the truth but our videoconferences are somewhat of a public forum... I have at times consciously tried to remain calm and optimistic for their [the chemotherapy team] benifit" (340). Here her doctor is admitting that she maybe doesn't say all the bad things all the time. Later in that email, however, she decides to be more blunt and honest. She tells Nielsen, "My best estimate today: 35-40% probability of being alive, well, and without breast cancer 10 years from now..." (340). I think it was probably very hard for the doctor to be upfront about unpromising outlooks, but if I were Nielsen, I would also want the truth.
There is this guy who was wintering at the pole named Pic who I found especially interesting. He was constantly in pain in his head or jaw, because of a Ugandan dentist who messed up his teeth. Then his neck, stomach, and back started hurting, and finally severe pain in his hip. What I found so interesting about him was that he never stopped working, even though he suffered through many illnesses. He even developed insomnia and and restless leg syndrome. Nielsen says, "We finally had to order him to rest when he could barely stand. He claimed that he had read seventy-two books during that time" (296). THis shows what an extraordinary guy he was. The best part about Pic is how he and Nielsen got through their hardships together. "To escape our hardships of life, Pic and I created an elaborate world of our own" (296). I think it is really cool that they were there to help each other.
Throughout her winter at the pole, Nielsen had to cope with the fact that she didn't know if she would live or die. In an email to her family and friends she says, "Am I at the very end of my life, or at a new beginning? I can only guess. It weighs heavy on me now" (292). There were many contributing factors to her feelings. Her cancer would have been hard for anybody, but because she was away from a normal life, her family and friends, and reliable treatment, it was even more difficult for her. Without a good hospital or good treatments, it would be extremely hard to be able to stay optimistic about life. To keep her hopes up, Nielsen's mom tells her, "If there is a chance, whether it be 10% or 90%, take any chance on life"(289). These words must have meant a lot to her, because even though death was a very probable possibility, encouraging words from anybody help tremendously.
I think her brother Scott helped a lot, and had a lot of really cool things to say. he told this one story about being on his boat. "When I awoke it was midnight. I was out of sight of land. I crawled up on the stern and realized that my boat had been transported into outer space. There were stars everywhere. Up, to the sides, down, everywhere! I held the back stay to keep from falling and looked carefully. It was incredible. My movement on the stern made a ripple and it rolled out to the horizon, shutting off the stars one at a time and then back on they came. The ocean had died completely and had turned into a mirror. It was incredible!" (343). I think that this is a really interesting story and it really makes me want to go sailing and see the ocean turn into outer space.
